It’s a discovery unique to the earnest spiritual seeker: one day it is discovered that a longtime source of angst or illness is no longer as acute or has simply vanished.

For a time I may not even recognize the change, may still feel anxious or lost or melancholy; may still struggle with a chronic pain or ailment. But at some point it becomes obvious that something has changed in me, something is different.

Perhaps the recognition comes in the wee hours, when I once again awaken and anticipate tossing and turning with agonizing thought. Only this time that undercurrent of anxiety isn’t as strong. Or it’s completely gone. Comes the next morning and, again, the anxiety simply isn’t there.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” – Carl Jung

What happened? Where is that old shadow self, the one that for so long stalked me and reminded me of all that might – and probably would – go wrong in my life? I’ve taken no pills, visited no therapists. Yet I seem magically to have been cured of my suffering, or at the very least experienced a recognizable decrease in it. Why? How?

The Added Things

In mystical, metaphysical, and spiritual traditions it’s sometimes referred to as unfoldment, a gradual expansion of consciousness that seems to lessen or altogether eradicate a longtime mental or physical struggle.

How does it happen?

From my own experience (and from what I’ve learned from various teachers), it’s due to an earnest quest for the truth about my own nature. Or more succinctly, the search for the answer to that oldest of questions, who (or what) am I?

By ‘earnest’ I mean a regular, even relentless expedition into myself (take it from me, you aren’t going to get there treating the spiritual journey like a sometime hobby). This means reading and re-reading spiritually-themed books, listening and re-listening to recordings, and in between these lots of meditation and prayer.

Because we’re only really accustomed to experiencing change as something immediate and tangible, this expansion of consciousness may for a time go unnoticed. But at some point we can’t help but notice – even if those around us don’t – that something within us is changing.

Anxiety lessens, fears disappear, needs are mysteriously met. Or, a new job or home mysteriously becomes available, unhealthy friendships seem to fizzle out of their own accord and newer, healthier ones materialize. Or, we find a deep peace in our aloneness.

“Yet to know oneself, at the deepest level, is simultaneously to know God; this is the secret of gnosis.” – Elaine Pagels, The Gnostic Gospels

In the Bible these are referred to as ‘the added things’ that come only when we first seek the kingdom of God. And where does the Bible tell us the kingdom of God resides? Within us.

In other words, we are tasked with seeking our true nature, the answer to the question who, or what, am I?